If Everyone Behaved Like A Politician

A journalist holds a microphone to interview a policeman.

JOURNALIST

Sergeant Morris, what do you have to say about the recent incident where you shot and killed the suspect?

SGT MORRIS

Let me be absolutely clear, I don’t want to be misinterpreted in any way. Yes, I killed the suspect, but, the previous Sergeant of this precinct killed two suspects. So that’s a 50% improvement since I took over.

JOURNALIST

Sorry?

                                                       SGT MORRIS

Since I took over, the killing of suspects has been reduced by half, and that's not just my people saying that, that's based on official statistics.

                                                       JOURNALIST

But you ended a suspect's life.

SGT MORRIS

But not two. I mean, one - gun went off, whoops, that's not great, but two - reckless and inexcusable.