Amazing the interest in one post.

I'm shocked by how many people have been reading my post about getting famous on the internet. It was sort of written half tongue in cheek and half serious, combining what I knew and had experienced from working in TV and what I was observing on the internet.

But with so many people reading it I decided to go back and add just a little more substance about how I see fame being achieved on the internet. So if you wanna know what all the tricks are as I see them, read the post!

How To Become Famous On The Internet.

20 Of The Most Amazing, Inspirational Or Funny Moments From The Net

I thought I'd just throw these together - some of my favourites moments found on the net. One of the skills of any writer is procrastination and the internet is the perfect tool for that!

A homeless boy steals the show on a talent show.

The current season of Britain's got Talent turns up more unlikely looking talented singers.

An Early season - Andrew Johnston who told of being bullied.

Emannual from X Factor Australia, had the saddest, yet inspirational life story and outlook on life. He stole the show at auditions, was used as the promo highlight for weeks by the show, and then was cut from any further rounds without getting to sing again.

An extraordinary electric guitar vocalist.

J-Mac - Inspiration on and off the court.

This is apparently footage shot for an ad, but it's a highlight all the same.

An Australian ball-boy catches like a Sir.

This guy went to jail - he should have gone into movies!

For anyone who has ever had their carpark stolen by an A@*hole!

I bet they could never do this again!

Stalking cat can be watched over and over - an amazing look at a hunter at work.

One of my favourite comedian - Ricky Gervaise insulting even the elite and getting away with it.

Spike Miligan - the father of modern comedy. Gone but not forgotten. Even Ricky would be proud of this moment.

Say what?

Pure inspiration and make me watch in awe and feel petty about my concerns all at once.

There are no small parts, only small people. Everyone can make a difference and this man obviously has!

One of the many heart warming military reunions - this one courtesy of Ellen.

And who's going to miss a sister's graduation?

I love sport. I'm not sure why so many cannot see all the things that playing sports teaches a person about life, condensed into a far smaller, far more observable moment in time. This one, despite what anyone tells you, never give up.

Little whores called Bratz.

I've never been great with children. 

They've always seemed unnecessarily loud and fragile to me. At least when I’ve stepped on one. 

Effective to avoid stepping on a child.

My brother has children - largely due to wine from a box, but surprisingly they are lovely kids. My niece is especially sweet, although when she turned one I was suddenly expected to buy some sort of present for her.

I spent a long time thinking about what to buy and finally decided to buy her a good bottle of scotch. Johnny Walker Blue. Her mother was extremely unimpressed with me, but my niece played with the paper and my brother and I got shit-faced. So three people approved my present and only one disapproved. That’s a win in my book. Majority rules!

On my niece’s second and third birthday I bought her exactly the same thing - figuring it had served me well once, why not again, and again. The second birthday was fine, but it turns out for the next, I had severely underestimated the grip of a three year old girl and she refused to give up the bottle.

So for her fourth birthday I finally admitted I needed help. I asked my brother what I should buy for a four year old girl’s birthday present. I was told a Bratz doll. Now I hadn’t been in a toy store for over twenty years, so I went to Toys’R’Us and asked the salesperson to direct me to the Bratz dolls - she did. I rounded the aisle and there they were, floor to ceiling hooker dolls.

Exactly what demographic are Bratz dolls being marketed towards? How many people know a 3 to 12 year old girl, or know of someone who has a girl aged 3 - to 12, who is a complete whore?

These dolls are designed to represent every nationality as well, because it’s never too early to teach girls they can look and act like whores, regardless of what country they’re born in. Some of the dolls were leaning out from the shelves, calling out to me, trying to catch my eye. They all offered a good time. I couldn’t help thinking how totally inappropriate they were for any little girl. These dolls should be banned, not pushed towards the future women of the world as 12 inch role models.

So I bought one. I figured - what the hell, she’s not my kid. And I took my doll home, ready for the birthday party where I’d hand Bratz the hooker doll over to my sweet, innocent four year old niece.

Unfortunately, before I had a chance to give the doll over, the doll got up and left the house. I didn’t even know she’d gone, I just heard the front door click and when I checked the house I realised ‘Bubbles’ Bratz the hooker doll had left.

I waited up. I worried until well after 3AM. I imagined so many terrible scenarios. Maybe she’d becomes a chew toy for some neighbourhood dog, or was she now headless by the hand of the sticky ten year old boy from next door. Finally, when I had worried myself half to death, ‘Bubbles’ finally arrived home. No excuses or explanation about where she’d been, but I noticed she had a whole lot of money in her pockets. Once again I was disgusted. 

These dolls are aimed at little girls as something to aspire to and they are dressed as pole dancers, street walkers and Hooters waitresses. What sort of message are we sending to the next generation of women and, who is it designing these dolls. Please don’t tell me it’s men!

So, after all this outrage and disgust over the message delivered by these dolls and my feelings towards that message,I did what any responsible adult would do in these difficult economic times - I bought another 6 Bratz dolls.

Now I’m a Bratz pimp.

I also bought a G.I. Joe doll with some Bratz outfits sold separately. G.I. Joe in fishnet stockings is now my biggest earner.

How to become famous on the internet.

I've worked in television for many years. I've sat in on casting decisions of famous faces, before they were famous and I always marvelled at the way a room of less than photogenic souls could so easily pick faults with seriously good looking people. On one occasion, a young actress, who has since gone on to gain fame, was one of two left in the mix after a series of long auditions. It came down to, "The one with the lazy eye, or the one with the crooked teeth." Their talent was equal, so were their ages, either would have been a terrific fit for the role, but in the end  it came down to a superficial question based on looks.

Television is a tough business. Just look at the news reporters and stop for a minute to consider how many of those reporters fall into the 'good looking category. Consider how many very talented young journalists are passed over because of the girl with the model looks or the guy who is tall dark and handsome.

The internet has been a revelation. It chose its celebrities for many years on nothing more than people's interest in whatever that person chose to do. Some were instantly famous - some infamous. The first time I remember online fame was the Star Wars Kid.

Since him there have been too many to count. Here's a few of my favourites - and everyone else's.

Starting with...

Susan Boyle.

Evolution of dance

David home from the dentist

Torn

Chad Vador sings Chocolate Rain

Even old classic moments from TV could be called up at will on the 'on demand' media of the internet.

Tim Conway's Elephant story

The internet was run by clicks, people choosing what they wanted to watch, when they wanted to watch it. It has given us the best of entertainment on offer from around the world for over five years, making stars of those with genuine talent, or terrible talent or just some quirky story to tell.

Charlotte and Jonothan from 2012 season of Britain's got Talent.

And it made stars of people who thought they had talent, but failed, and they failed because enough people around the world wanted to see the disaster as it happened. The wannabe artist had let their creation go viral and be judged and lampooned by anyone who wanted to take a jab. Brave, but foolish. Better to be in on the joke than to be the joke.

But the internet's brave new world of selective viewers could never last. Like so many other great things, they are great until they become mainstream and while there are still things to like about them when they reach that level of popularity, they eventually fall into line with the worst aspects of why the main stream, ruled by the masses, like and dislike things.

Boy bands are a great example of this phenomenon. They have for years shown us that you really don't have to be great musicians if you want to be successful, you have to look good and be well marketed - that means being seen by the maximum amount of people. People, especially young girls looking for a non threatening romantic attachment, will instantly be attracted to pretty faces and fall into line with the stories of those involved and by songs well marketed towards them. In the end these packaged young testosterone filled bands will make their managers, agents and eventually, the artists, very rich, by treating those involved like a product to be marketed and sold to the widest audience possible.

So now we reach a new age for the internet, where the same principles that have applied to TV for the last 40 years are being called into play. The good looking have a far greater chance to succeed. Any kid in their teens, or even a very cute pre-teen, can post something on the internet and be discovered by fans looking for someone to connect with. The fans project and believe in the personality being portrayed and fall in love with whoever it is. The slicker people are at marketing an image, the more successful they'll be, even if the image is a totally false one.

The first internet superstar will be a label always worn by Justin Bieber. I'm not a Bieber hated because I think he's talented and you only need to look at the raw talent of his first video posts to see that. Before the managers and producers began polishing and marketing him.

                                                                       Justin Bieber Busking

But there are countless others who have found fame - some a little some a lot. They posted themselves and found fans around the world, largely because the rawness of the internet made it hard for young kids to present an image that had been manipulated by professionals. We were being invited into bedrooms to see people chat without someone telling them what to say - and that honesty and vulnerability made us fans.

Charlie McDonnell - AKA Charlie is so cool like

And good luck to those every day folks who claimed their fifteen minutes of fame. Some faded, but others have turned it into a good earner, a career or just enjoyed the celebrity and had fun with it.

But last week the first in a new phenomenon has occurred on the internet. A star has been born for doing nothing. He didn't even mean to be photographed - yes, I'm talking about the 'incredibly photogenic guy' now - known to be Zeddie Little from New York.

He entered and ran in a 10k fun run and someone, unknown to Zeddie, took his picture. Then someone posted that picture to Reddit, the internet's version of a directory of cool new stuff, and from there people began clicking on the image and it spread like any viral disease - exponentially. And the people liked what they saw. He became the subject of adoration, jokes, captions and stories about why, in the midst of a whole bunch of sweating straining people, he could look like a GQ model.

Then the humour that so many people have hidden within, the creative genius that is let loose when it is allowed to express itself anonymously through the internet, got going because of the silliness of how Zeddie had found fame and the 'Incredibly photogenic guy' memes popped up everywhere.

So we come back to exactly where I started and that is the internet has now come to prove what TV executives and networks, through  research and focus groups, have known for decades. A great face is the most important thing to get an audience tuning in. Idol, X Factor and 'Got Talent' shows use the exact formula - if the person is attractive they are 50% there. A great story to back up their looks and make us like or feel sorry for the person, add another 25% to the likeability scale - give them talent as well and they become a triple threat and nothing will stop them. 

The ideal age to be discovered and touched by fame is 14 to 19, but remember, a person only needs too look that age, they don't actually need to be that age - a fact many TV execs can attest to. It's better to be a teenage guy than a girl because the teenage female fans are far more focused than the boys. The teenage girls looking for fame seem to be the best targets at gaining the ire and hatred of fans. So if you're looking to get noticed for the worst song ever, find a teenage girl, the better looking the better. Write them a song with a simplistic tune and lyrics that makes a poem by Paris Hilton look like a Pulitzer contender.

 

If you really want to make people hate you - get two hot girls, who can't sing but think they can, write them a bad song and make the lyrics paint them as pretentious, petty, and vacuous, riding in a limo and complaining how tough their lives are because of a non existent problem. And watch the hits keep coming!

If you look too young for puberty to have set in, there's no sex appeal. You may be considered cute, but looking pre-pubescent makes people liking you feel like they're doing something wrong. Looking past about 22 and, unless you've got something serious to say, or a stand-out talent, it's a little try hard. 

If you're a song writer, feel free to record your songs and put them online, see how many hits they get. Then go find a willing teenage guy with a pretty face who can do the song justice and put that online - you may have just created the next Milli Vanilli. - those faces sold millions and a won a Grammy before the internet! I'd love someone to do this experiment and see what happens. Come on all those 20+ talented singer songwriters - take the challenge and see what happens!

And of course the last thing to remember is that you need, at all costs, to come across as if you aren't looking for fame or recognition. If you're a singer, vlogger, or any other internet hopeful, recording from a bedroom or with parents or housemates poking their heads in is an ideal formula. Use makeshift equipment that tells people whatever it is you're doing is a hobby, a passion and fame isn't your goal but getting your message, your voice, your skills recorded is - even if no-one ever sees you. The more you look like you don't care, the more it looks thrown together and unrehearsed, even a mistake and an embarrassed laugh from you, the more the internet will love you.

If you can manage to get someone else, totally removed from you record it and get it on the net like you never even intended it to be seen, a naughty little brother with a recorder, you're 90% home.

This is one of my all time favourites - totally orchestrated, the whole family is in on the series which now is over 18 separate videos of this supposedly insane teenager freaking out. Brilliance! And notice how in the middle of his tantrum, his shirt comes off to show off how attractive he is. There's the formula used on TV with teenage guys for years!

The last thing to remember about fame via the internet - it's fickle. Just like those cheating on a relationship, the thrill is in something new, not about disliking the old. 

I hope Zeddie enjoys his 15 minutes. His response on twitter and tumblr makes him seem like a very genuine nice and humble guy. My guess is you'll see him next on Dancing with the stars or being fired by the Donald on celebrity apprentice - because he now qualifies as a star - at least an internet star. But he wouldn't be the first and he surely won't be the last to slide out of the net and go mainstream.

A few more Internet greats - just for everyone's enjoyment!

Big Business Vs The 99%!

I had a friend who told me the best years of his working life were when he went to work in a small start up company where the people in charge were working to create something out of love and a passion for the product. Working conditions were great and anything anyone did that contributed to the advancement of the product was recognised, understood and rewarded.

This is the story of every company ever created. First generation management are glorious. During those times when they still aren't sure if they are going to survive, thrive or die, all they can do is strive to produce the best product they can and hope the market rewards them.

When the market does, they celebrate and often those original employees get some of the riches as the company goes from success to success.

But now the company's successful and the original manager/owner has been working hard for 10 years. The passion's waned and the product hasn't altered its successful formula in a number of years. And an offer comes in from Richard Head of Richard Head industries, a multi national company and they offer to buy the small startup for 10 million. The company founder and owner sells - why wouldn't he? He knows the company's overpriced at the price, he knows all the hidden problems and the likelihood that their unchanged product may become less successful over time.

Now the second generation managers roll into town. They usually come with a management expert at the helm who knows and cares about only one thing, numbers on a balance sheet. Any excess gets cut. People's jobs get doubled up. Office space is halved and hallways suddenly become open plan offices. In fact every worker below those making the office layout decisions are forced into open plan offices, under the con that open plan helps employee communication and peer learning. The truth is open plan layouts make people less inclined to waste working hours checking facebook, if you can be seen at all times you are likely to work at a higher efficiency and this is all new management care about. The fact open plan offices  rob a person of privacy and self worth isn't even considered.

So now we're ready for third generation company management and all those that come after. Introducing Hugh Janus. He comes into a system already bastardized by the second generation of managers, he has little idea of the product or how its made. All he cares about is that it keeps getting made at the lowest possible price and then sold at an even higher markup profit. He's not interested in the rights or happiness of the employees, short of making sure they get the job done and should one quit he's happy to hire another and rush them into service to learn on the job. All the time the product gets smaller, is of poorer quality or delivers  less while the price goes up.

This company has now reached the fuck you stage or a company's life. This stage comes well after the original creators and owners of the company have moved on, after every single dollar that can be saved has been saved and after the company has been listed on the stock market making managers huge profits along with initial stock owners. But the most glaring attribute of the fuck you phase of a company's life is the fact they couldn't care less about the individual purchaser. They only care about the many. If there's bad press or some other reason customers band together and make demands on mass, management will front the media and get their publicity spin working. This is something all of us are now familiar with because we see it so often. A company who is suddenly facing bad press because of something done in the normal day to day operations of their business, that for some reason attracted media attention, triggers a response from the company's PR face who stands and shouts loudly how, "We (this company) is shocked by this and we're taking steps to makes sure it never happens again, and by the way we sponsor a rainforest and saved this puppy from being euuthanized." But one customer no longer matters because these companies deal in tens of thousands of customers. Everyday they gain hundreds more - so dropping a few who become disgruntled along the way isn't any big deal.

The problem I have, is that I can't see a solution. Once companies get too big to care about the individual, they are big enough that we need them more than they need us. Once this happens they can change their product in any way they want. They will have squeezed out all other opposition so their's will be the only widget left to buy. It may be dangerous, life threatening, over priced and such poor quality it lasts for only one use - but what choice do we have other than to use it?

We stand at the counter and scream in frustration.
"I've shopped here for X years and you have no idea how much money I've spent in this store - well, no more. You'll be sorry, because you're losing a very valuable loyal customer."
And out the door we stomp - point well made.

The reality is, you might just as well have gone to the Grand Canyon, thrown a grain of sand over the edge and screamed at the river below to get ready to stop flowing.

The pessimist in me fears this is what the 99% are doing.
The optimist hopes they can move a mountain.

Compliments don't make Racism go away!

I'm coming to understand my own views about what racism is. What prejudice is, what bigotry of all kinds is. We are moving towards a better understanding of each other, but we are doing it slowly, like the relentless creep of a glacier. You only need to take a look at the decades and the views held to know this is true. The TV show Mad Men is not just great drama, it’s a chance to look with horror at who we were only a short time ago.

My Grandfather's generation is racist. His parents and school taught him people of dark skin were inferior to white skinned people. He was taught to fear the 'yellow peril' of Asian nations as the Japanese threatened to invade and inflict atrocities on the men and women they captured as prisoners of war.

It's not good enough to dismiss and excuse this generation because they're from a different age. But we do. We laugh off the incredibly offensive comments because Granddad has become inoffensive as dementia makes him more and more obsolete to any intelligent debate.

But should we allow it to slide without comment?

There is great acceptance and humour to be had in second hand bigotry. Ricky Gervaise, Chris Lilly, Little Britain and many others have discovered the freedom a character gives to get politically incorrect laughs out of material that, owned directly, would damn their career.

A woman who throws up because a person of a foreign country has baked the cookie she’s just eaten is so shocking it’s funny. The comedian is not saying foreigners are so disgusting they can't bear to risk eating something they’ve touched – they’re saying the humour is in a women existing who is so bigoted she has this reaction.

Ricky Gervaise would never knee a dwarf in the face. But the character he plays would. In fact, Ricky is smart enough to remove himself twice from the insult. First the character he plays, in whatever incarnation, is the one doing the offensive thing. Second, that character didn’t mean to do it. It's all a misunderstanding that's come about through a series of unfortunate events. And people howl with laughter. In Ricky's case they laugh three times: once because the character mistakenly gets labeled as insensitive. (How embarrassing for them!) Secondly, because of what the character does in the moment, (He lifted his knee to protect himself and accidently kneed the dwarf in the face – that’s awkward!). Third, because an outrageous social misdemeanor has been perpetrated - (A dwarf got kneed in the face). So now twice removed from something socially offensive, even the people who find dwarf abuse funny get to laugh with Ricky. Same goes for racism, homophobia, handicapped issues, sexism and all the other group injustices out there. It’s a loophole that gives us license to laugh.

For a long time I’ve been trying to work out where I stand on this incredibly complicated issue. It is complicated. Political correctness made it complicated. There are still people who are bigoted and don’t care. We also have bigots who are ignorant of the fact they are bigots and others who dismiss complaints as being overly sensitive.

As a gay man I have faced condemnation from family, friends and strangers. I’ve listened to kids and adults alike allow ‘so gay’ to become part of the lexicon. A phrase that means something isn’t enviable, isn’t masculine, isn’t the sort of thing a ‘self respecting’ person would want to be seen doing/wearing/saying. And if you raise the issue and declare you’re not happy about it being used, you get dismissed because, Gay is not being used in the same way that it refers to people - silly!

The same argument was used and shown to be ill informed with words like Jewish and others. Because words have power and they do inform and guide our social thinking and agendas.

And no, none of these issues are alike, nor do I compare them. Being of a race, or having a disability, or being a male or a female, being gay or straight – none of these things are like the other. They get grouped together and argued for or against in the same breath simply because they are subsets of our whole. We all fit into groups within our larger group and we all suffer positive or negative discrimination because of these groupings. Whatever religion you are, places you in a group – and even being atheist puts you into one of those groups – you cannot escape being grouped even if your group is defined as ‘others’ – you’re still in a column.

Every one of these groups can and does attract behaviour that is inclusive of and restrictive of opportunities being offered by a bigoted world. There are times in your life where you will have been judged, for good or bad, because you’re part of a group and that group is seen to share traits. These commonly perceived behaviour patterns will be transferred onto you.

You are Christian? Therefore you think and behave in a certain way. It’s so simple and it makes so much sense. It’s the perfect system for our simple Disneyesque black and white world.

Why is bigotry of any kind such a complicated and decisive issue and why is it so hard for us to come to terms with and understand?

I ask these questions because I keep hearing good intentioned people being interviewed and trying to make positive statements that end up far worse than saying nothing at all.

It often happens with leaders who get asked difficult questions about a ‘socially sensitive’ minority within a society that is often denigrated or causes social friction to the majority by their very existence. The socially conscious leader of the community tries to use the opportunity to make a positive contribution.

How many times have you winced when someone began by assuring you some of their best friends were of a particular kind? Or they’ve gone so far as to declare that they aren’t prejudice against a group… but…

Racism, sexism, denial of human rights against any group is illegal. It’s wrong. It’s antiquated and will slowly become something belonging to past generations.

But we have to stop grouping people as if that group makes a significant comment towards its members in any way before that can happen.

Australian Aboriginals can be proud of their incredible abilities and contribution across many sporting fields in Australia. This is said so often it has become law in this country. Few ever consider that it’s a key to how a person thinks. It’s racist. It’s not true. It’s a grouping that needs to stop. Australian aboriginals can be proud of individuals who have brought pride to our country through sporting achievement.   

Those people, like any other, reached the top because of their own individual abilities and hard work.

Asians aren’t smart because they’re Asians – the Asian’s who are smart got that way by working damn hard. Australian Aboriginals are not gifted because of some magical gene that gives them a sporting talent above others – they are gifted because as individuals they had a talent and then worked hard to make the most of that talent. There are just as many dumb Asians and un-athletic Aboriginals as there are those who are gifted.

The reason those who try to make a positive comment towards the debate of race, or acceptance towards a group of any kind, fail is because they keep using the group.

We’re individuals. We all fit into many subsets within a larger group that makes up our communities, our cities, our countries and our world. Within those groups are individuals who are incredible role models, who are leaders, who are great men and women to be admired and to aspire to. There are just as many who are law breakers, lazy, lowlife good for nothings who serve as a warning against taking the easy or disreputable path in life. But these people too are individuals. They didn’t end up where they are because they are part of a subset of society. They ended where they ended through opportunity and individual choice.

Prejudice and injustice towards people comes from treating people as their neighbour. We are all individuals and two identical people, with like backgrounds, experience and opportunities can and do end up at different ends of the social spectrum regarding success and failure. How do you place their group? Is the group lazy or hard working, smart or dumb, honest or lawless? Because those two people, at opposite ends of the social spectrum, come from the exact same group. And this example occurs in every group, across every walk of life.

As long as we insist on trying to find connections and similarities in each other based on arbitrary factors, we will have bigotry, racism, prejudice and injustice. It doesn’t matter how good someone’s intentions are or how positive a compliment is being made – if it’s being made to a group because of the actions of an individual or a few from within that group, it represents a prejudicial remark against the whole. The speaker believes all people of that subset share like attributes.

That’s where the complication and difficulty comes from in the politically correct debate. That’s where the humour comes from in comic sketches using characters who take this notion to the extreme. But it’s also what we have to come to terms with if we are going to break the cycle.

Nothing should be assumed of anyone until they are met and understood as an individual. Once that is done I have no problem with them being labeled stupid, lazy or dishonest, to be lauded as hard working, inspirational or a genius intellect. But wait until you have the facts on a person first hand. You still may be wrong about them, some people don’t make a great first impression, others talk a great game but can’t play at all, but for the most part, there’s a greater chance you’ll know them better given you’ve considered them first hand.

Credit for actions, good or bad goes to the individual. Any other view makes a person ignorant of what prejudice is. 

Corporations are People - Sociopathic People.

Corporations are immoral. They have no conscience or consideration of right and wrong of or for the individual. They only care about their financial bottom line and growth and because of this they only care about the masses.

The masses can alter their fate, an individual is powerless.

One vote, one customer, one injured party in a sea of millions doesn't warrant a sideways glance. No-one fears a snowflake, only the avalanche gets attention.

The masses are not ten, not one hundred; not even one thousand. 

A thousand like grievances joined together as one will be noticed and hushed, but not for their complaint. They will be dealt with and hidden as quickly and as inexpensively as possible because they are the first carcinogenic cell that could multiply to threaten the corporate life.

Alone an individual is a single voice shouting into a canyon. It takes a chorus of tens of thousands, or a sympathetic media to amplify that song of complaint so it is loud enough to be heard.

The media commands public opinion, it informs and guides, like a brain with the body of a billion thoughtless cells that follow and submit to suggestions and thoughts formed and sent from above.

Thank God for the new social medias of Twitter and Facebook because the old media platforms have become themselves corporately corrupted and molded by financial objectives. This old media has lobotomized itself in a quest to offend no-one and gain ratings at any cost.

How sad that for so long we abstained from personal responsibility and allowed the corporate voice of network manipulation and greed to guide us down a path that is paved with gold only for them.

How sad that an industry that had the power to do so much good has slunk to its belly and settled on making arbitrary decisions born from the pen of accountants, rather than forging a brave new world in a forward backward path that the artist should have led.

How sad that we allowed them to become so powerful before we took a stand.

But it is not simply the old media that has caught this corporate tunnel vision of purpose. Ring any multinational company and press their automated buttons spruiked by their recorded voice menu. Time the difference it takes to get a response to a request for anything compared to the time it takes that same company to respond to a call to pay money or give them new business.

Corporations are people. But they have been poorly raised and are now spoilt children who only know how to take graciously. When it comes time to give they can only throw tantrums and elicit an age old immature doctrine: if can’t get what I want, no-one will.

Despite social media’s desperate attempt to allow a single voice to be heard, that single voice is only sounding a final shuddering death rattle. The individual is dead. A single person no longer matters to the one percent.

We are in the age of spin and insincerity. We are in an age where only the fewest of the few are, in the long run, treated fairly by large corporations. As customers we are bled and fed just enough to keep our blood flowing into their wealthy coffers. As workers we are pushed and stressed and cruelly convinced loyalty and long service is valued and rewarded. There is nothing worse than seeing the crushed spirit of a worker who discovers their life’s work and effort has been rewarded with a pink slip that ends a career without even a name behind the decision.

It’s easy to steer a ship in calm weather. But the narrow minded and selfish spirit of these new ‘people’ never learn that in calm weather it’s important to bond a crew who have the skills, courage and loyalty to save the ship when the next storm blows from the far horizon.

Corporations are now legally people of the United States of America according to that country’s Supreme Court. But until those newly born corporate souls grow up and gain the maturity that allows them to think and feel like a person, with choices swayed and prayed for with a conscience and an empathetic soul, they will continue to be the modern scourge and we should all beware.

There could be no poorer teachers for future generations than the corporate giants that have been brought up to scream for everything and are prepared to give nothing back unless there’s a bigger upside in doing so.

Multinationals may be people, but they are at best sociopaths who should be evaluated, diagnosed and treated for their personality disorders quickly before they deliver a final fatal blow and we all suffer at their hands.