Showing posts with label harry styles. Show all posts
Showing posts with label harry styles. Show all posts

Saturday, 22 August 2015

Is it time to wave Larry Stylinson goodbye?

I'm a male 1D fan.


I know it's terrible. All my sophisticated music loving friends will pour derision on me. Who cares? My play list still has the Beatles and Bowie in it, but it also has Maroon 5, Taylor Swift, Ed Sheeran, Bruno Mars, 5sos and a few others, but no one features as much as those five tattooed ex-teens with their cheesy songs.


Yes I'm gay and yes they are good looking young guys, but no, that's not what's going on. In some strange way I feel like I have watched Liam, Harry, Louis, Nail and the now, 'normal lifed', Zayn grow up. I think they've managed that part of their lives incredibly well. I like the fact that I saw real loss and despair in all five band members when they were tossed out of X-Factor UK.


Those poor hopeful kids were in tears. Then they got a reprieve and for me, that's the moment that made them; not the reprieve, but the failure. There's a great quote that as a person you don't learn much from success - I don't think this is always true, but you certainly learn less from it. It allows indulgent, self satisfying thoughts that dampen drive and determination. When the dreams of the 1D guys ended so early, or so they thought, that moment seems to have been seared into their minds and it has lasted until very recently. I think more than anything else it has kept them level headed as they've grown.

They know only too well how lucky they are. Lucky to have been selected at all, let alone as a band of five. Lucky to have the hits. The fans that love them and now careers of five years taking them around the world four times over with no sign of the first class flights being grounded anytime soon.


They also work hard. Count the shows. Time and effort has tempered them so even their harshest critic has to begrudgingly admit they are competent singers. Have a listen to Torn from the XFactor and compare it to some of the vocals going on in Best Song Ever. These guys have come a long way.

And they have the best conspiracy theory bubbling along beside them since the Beatles with 'Paul is Dead'. Larry Stylinson is not as grand as the 'Paul is Dead' mystery, but it's got twice the clues to be sleuthed out. The fans dubbed their conspiracy Larry Stylinson right from the start. I've written about Larry before because it's just so damn cute - true or not.


The saga goes, according to some fans, Harry and Louis are in love, together, possibly married and having their passion filled tryst hidden away by everyone from their management to Obama. Other fans are equally adamant they're just two guys who like each other - a lot.

The anti Larry shippers place the conspiracy as nothing more than coincidence and happenstance that add up to two very close and supportive friends. Even if this is the case, what a wonderful friendship it is and how great to see two guys showing obvious affection towards each other. The other band members show affection towards one another as well, but Harry and Louis seem to go that little bit further.

I've thought about whether I want these two to be together or not, the conspiracy to be true or not, the Larry ship to be sailing or sunk. To be honest, I'm torn.

I came out very young at a time before the internet. I just couldn't see how I could keep living a lie. I was too broken and screwed up inside by trying, so coming out became my only healthy option.

As a side note, people like Tom Daley are bravely risking all they've built up to be honest and open and prove just how far we've come - especially as he was able to keep his privacy intact with some ambiguity left to his sexuality. He simply told the world he was in love and, to his surprise, the person he loved was a man. Now Caitlin Kenner has further exposed how complicated and confused human sexuality can be with her transition from the world's greatest athlete to Caitlin - a journey that took her decades to accept.

So what's that got to do with Shipping Larry - well part of me hates to think of the pressure being applied if Larry is true. I think of Australia's Ian Thorpe who was hounded until he finally outed himself and every commentator added, "See, we told you," and all I could feel was the pain of a young man who was never allowed to chart his journey in his own time and in his own way.


Coming out is personal. It has nothing to do with anyone else, it's about accepting yourself and being ready to stand up and live your life as you are and face the narrow minded throng who can't conceive or empathize with difference.

It's not fair or wise to push someone towards coming out, nor is it fair to reject someone's denial's about being gay. But the fans have gathered so much evidence around Louis and Harry that place the two of them in the land of, "Don't ask, don't tell." They seem to sit on the fence when confronted and it's hard to read if this is support from a new open minded generation or a hint they have secrets they're not ready to be open about.


The guys of 1D are so successful and still very young. They haven't put a foot wrong as far as role models go. Maybe having each other helps, whereas Beiber and others stumble because of the pressure of shouldering their fame alone. But in every interview, at every turn, One Direction members seem mature, level headed and wise beyond their years.

Honestly, ask yourself where you would be with all that power, influence and wealth at twenty one? I would be on the front page of the scandal sheets well ahead of Beiber - I would make him look like a saint. Peeing in a bucket? Most drunk 20 year old's would call that restraint.


One Direction are successful enough that if any of them are gay and came out and then lost fans, they would still have enough left supporting them to remain relevant for years to come. And they are, over and over again, supportive of all LGBTQ+ people, advances and issues.


The cynic in me notes they are getting a secondary benefit by being vague and questioning their sexuality as it fuels the ongoing Larry conspiracy and that keeps people guessing and gaining publicity. I would hope this isn't premeditated on the band's part, but I'd be naive to think it couldn't be on the agenda of a management whose primary aim is to maximise profits.


If a band member or members are simply not ready to come out then I have nothing but praise for the way they're handling themselves, even their outright denials. Look at Connor Franta - who has shown incredible bravery by leaving up his earlier post where he denies being gay, clearly demonstrating how hard it is to make the journey towards accepting yourself, let alone telling others. If someone needs more time they should have it.



But if a member of 1D is gay and ready to come out and being stopped by outside forces trying to protect the income being produced, I'd be disappointed for the first time. These guys seem stronger than that and smart enough to realise they'd make a life and death difference to so many questioning, mixed up girls and boys who are feeling trapped and need successful role models to show them they are more than okay being themselves; to show them they are every bit as good and as worthwhile as any other person on this planet, regardless of who they fall in love with.


We need high profile people with feted careers to show leadership and help others who don't have the power and influence to sway public opinion. People need to see public figures, like Tom and Connor, and many others leading the way like Troye Sivan, the Ellens - Degeneres and Page, athletes Derrick Gordan and Michael Sam, who are all leading by example and showing how important it is to be true to who you are.

Bravery is needed by all, and the most bravery is needed by those who are young and in the spotlight, because those coming to terms with their sexuality, those hiding away in the teenage angst of sorting out who they are, will relate to leaders close to their own age more than any others.


If someone in the band is gay and not ready to come out they should be left to chart their own course without the constant pressure of Larry being linked to every move or comment they make. If they are ready to come out they should join the throng and stand up to be counted. If not, they should make their support of the LGBTQ+ community crystal clear and stop teasing their fans with their vague responses to direct questions.

Either way I'm feeling, as fun as it's been, Larry has run it's course and should now become a footnote in the band's ongoing history.

As much as the GLBTQ+ community needs high profile people to be brave enough to come out and lead, allowing straight people to show support and empathy for the community is just as important - and their sexuality shouldn't be continually questioned because of of it.

@norton_scott


Saturday, 13 July 2013

Harry Styles looks like a young Mick Jagger

We love to compare people. We have a need to categorize people into types and then take it further to individuals.

We're so quick  to ask if whoever is a new version of someone who's gone before. We do this because we want our heroes, our idols, those who really blazed a trail and left an impression on our lives, we want those bright stars to do it all again.

Who wouldn't want the Beatles to ride again and produce all those amazing hits, or someone with the charisma of Elvis or the extraordinary vocals of Babs or Whitney to pass our way again?

The originals make a huge splash and create such a shadow to be chased and mirrored by those who come after that we cheer each new hopeful stepping up to the plate. And the funny thing is, if someone is of the same caliber they blaze so bright they eventually become their own original.  

So who's the latest to throw their hat into the ring? If you go on looks alone then Mick's incredible journey is about to be recreated by another? There's an awful long way to go, but if you believe the media, he's off to a very good start.


And once you start comparing people on just their superficial looks it become a little addictive.....

Justin Bieber      Ricky Nelson            Elvis

Young Justin Bieber          Young Donny Osmond

Hmmmmm - that's just getting silly.



Monday, 8 July 2013

Larry Stylinson and the Art of Coming Out


Larry Stylinson is a fascinating study for everyone in coming out as a gay man.

A fascinating study for the straight community to understand the process and the pressures, and a fascinating study for people to pause and re-acquaint themselves with the truth that circumstantial evidence doesn’t equal proof.


Larry Stylinson may or may not exist. This soul mate name-mash may have been born of two young men from a new generation, a generation beyond the metro-sexual, a generation who understands that two men can have a close, loving and supportive relationship without it being sexual or threaten their sexuality.


If they are in a relationship, platonic or otherwise, it could very possibly be one exclusive of any other male relationship they’ll seek out or need for the rest of their lives. They may have simply been the right person at the right time for each other and have fallen in love as a convergence of events that will never ever happen again for either of them. 


If you don’t know who Larry is, you’re not a ‘Directioner’. If you don’t believe he exists you’re not a ‘Larry Shipper’. What the hell am I talking about? The ongoing bromance between Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson of One Direction, of course! Whether it is fact or fan-fiction, I think it is laugh out loud funny – to a point.


The greatness of fans and the internet have created a wonderful conspiracy theory and named him Larry Stylinson – and long may he reign! The fans who love One Direction want their ‘boys’ to be happy. They’ve spotted something between Harry and Louis that is undeniably there – and their generous fans are more than willing to give up hope of having these two for themselves in order for the boys to have their happiness together. Awwww!


The story goes that Harry and Louis are boyfriends, deeply in love and have been since they first met on X factor as solo artists. It was there they were dismissed from the show in heartbreaking, dream shattering scenes, only to be brought back as a group of five failed soloists and thrown into a boy band. The rest, as they say, is history.

The reason I’ve decided to blog about the rumour and the huge amount of very persuasive supporting ‘evidence’ compiled by fans, is that the rumour is based on no hard facts. Every argument that supports their relationship can also be easily dismissed as nothing more than two young men who are clearly very close.  


Whether they are in a relationship or not it is their business and I thought I would use the situation as an example of the journey of coming out and the pressures applied from outside that do more harm than good, even from the best meaning of people.

I think Ugly Betty got it about right with the flamboyant younger brother, Justin. We all knew he was gay from the beginning – that was the joke. But he didn’t know, or didn’t care to know or more realistically, wasn’t ready to know and his family let his overt tendency go uncommented – until he told them he was gay. They let him take his journey in his time. Good parenting that!


Recently at a dinner with one of my oldest friends I was told she was angry at me years ago, when I suddenly disappeared and withdrew from her life. I had to. I had to disappear from everyone and everything to sort my own mind out. I came out when I was twenty two. I told my parents who reacted by spending the next ten years trying to keep me in the closet to all their friends and our relatives. It was unfair to have to go through all that. It was also the most traumatic, bravest, scariest and most liberating thing I’ve ever had to do.

As the former captain of my high school football team I could have very easily stayed in the closet and no one would have known my secret – except me. 



My journey was forced on me by my nature. It came to a head when I met a guy who made everything else seem trivial. We tried and failed to deny the attraction, then became boyfriends in the most closeted relationship anyone could imagine. We rented a house, set up separate bedrooms and went to great lengths to prove to anyone and everyone we were no more than housemates.


Twelve months later the relationship came to an end, partially because we’d never allowed ourselves to be a real couple anywhere but behind closed doors. It was just too tiring and placed too much strain on us both. A few months later I told my parents I was gay and re-booted my life. Scott 2.0 if you will.

Internally there were many things I still had to overcome. Society schools young men to think of being gay in negative terms. If I need to explain any of those issues then you’re not paying attention to the world we live in, the language that gets used or the casual homophobia that is still generations away from being removed from society, often from even being recognized or acknowledged, and it’s all part of the pressure a gay person has to bear when coming out.

Just last year my eight year old niece came running down the driveway of my mother’s house after a family dinner and she was screaming at me that – “Nanny called you gay!” She yelled this a couple a times in hysterics. To my niece it was the funniest thing she’d ever heard. Her Nan, the most proper woman in the world, had called me the same name this eight year old girl and her playmates use to insult each other in the playground every day. The same word they use to dismiss things that are stupid or lame, a word that has no meaning to her except as a negative for everything. Thanks Katie Perry et al.


So that’s where we’re at even in the most enlightened societies. And yes, there are many people who have evolved and certain areas of many cities that are welcoming and safe for gays to be themselves, but there are too many examples where this is still not the case.

The thing to remember about coming out is that it is a personal issue. No matter how much you may wish your relative, your friend or in this case, singing idols to come out. If they are not ready internally, if they are not comfortable, strong enough, assured enough and comfortable with declaring to the world a secret that they have been forced to keep and told in so many ways for so many years is a negative and something to be ashamed of, then they shouldn’t and can’t come out on someone else’s terms. It does more harm than good. Coming out is a personal process not a group activity.
A gay person needs to take that personal, inner journey in their own time, and there is a lot of emotion involved, a little like the seven stages of grief – and in some ways I guess it is a process of giving up who you have been to start again, finally being true to yourself first and then to the rest of the world. And this includes breaking free of any outside influences that may be trying to encourage you to keep things a secret – it’s all part of the same negativity telling you for a variety of reasons that coming out will make your life worse and not better. It’s never true by the way – it does, always get better.

For me it initially involved anger at myself and the world for making me gay, hatred even, but slowly, through a process of self discovery and self belief, that anger turned from being inward shame to being projected out – and eventually building to the biggest ‘fuck you’ moment imaginable where I came out and declared who I really was for the first time. I was hurt by those who didn’t accept me, but by then was strong enough to cut them loose from my life – that’s a healthy journey to being out and proud.

Now back to Larry; if Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson are together, they’ll choose the time. Amassing all the ‘proof’ and ‘evidence’ about their touches, looks, ‘togetherness’ is great fun. Do it on a website, or tumblr or a blog. At least there, if the boys look at it it’s their choice – but stay away from twitter. Twitter is the same as driving around town in a car with your friends and yelling things at people out the window as you speed by. They don’t know who you are, but your words reach them and are felt.


The biggest problem I have with Larry is – what if it’s not true?

The innuendo and bullying via Twitter is unfair, the cheering for it to be true based on circumstantial evidence actually hurts the gay community. If two straight guys who really like each other cannot express themselves in any way they choose without being labeled gay, then it encourages homophobia. If guys can’t hold hands, or touch, or walk close without people labeling them gay, then those natural feelings and instincts get repressed, hidden and denied. That’s how homophobia is born. It makes expressing affection taboo, something to be scared of and avoided and it certainly continues the cycle.


And why can’t Harry and Louis just be best friends? Friends who like to grab and squeeze each other at every opportunity? Friends who enjoy a cheeky smack in the balls, tickle to the arm or peck on the cheek? Why can’t their matching and labeled stuffed toys and security blankets just indicate friendship? And what if they do have matching lock and key tattoos? And other Tattoos that seem suspiciously split between them both; a cage on one, birds on the other. A quote on one’s wrist, quotation marks on the other’s wrist. What if Harry has a coat hanger tattoo? And what about the stolen kisses and the way they both stare at each other with such pride and caring, or the way Louis always helps Harry with his clothes or hair….. hmmmm?

I’ve looked at a lot of footage and read a lot of the arguments for and against Larry and I have to say – they are, at very least, the most secure straight men I have ever seen. It’s really hard not to notice genuine affection towards another. It’s the little things…. Ahem… that give a person away. Those things you do when no one else is looking that can’t be faked. These two have plenty of those moments.







My straight mates look at a girl passing like they’re taking a breath. I notice their glances, their comments, it’s instinctive for them, it’s a reflex. I know because for twenty two years I was on guard, vowing not to let those little things slip out of my mouth … ahem…in public…. And that’s the one thing that makes me pause on the whole Larry Stylinson theory.

There are so many moments between Harry and Louis that are unguarded and uncensored. They wear their feelings for each other on their sleeves. But isn’t that the hole in this story? If these boys are together, or one or both is bi or gay, wouldn’t they hide things better? Why are they so overt? 

A gay person who is yet to come out is paranoid about everything they say and do and have trained themselves not to let those impulses out – until they are ready to come out. These boys have not changed their behavior from day one, so unless they were ready and brave enough to out themselves at sixteen, the whole Larry story doesn’t ring true.

And look at footage of the whole band; there are equally as many moments these two share with others that are intimate and caring, as there are between the other members of the band. As much as I think Larry is fun, I prefer to believe these guys are secure enough to be a new generation of role models to other young people. A new breed so confident in themselves they can admit and show sexuality isn’t black and white. That to have feelings for a best friend of the same sex, feelings that allow for caring, pride, admiration and yes, even genuine love, is absolutely okay?






How wonderful to think that’s all it is between them. Wouldn’t that make them worthy of all the attention they’re getting, far above some closeted secret? They’re brave enough to show the world there’s nothing wrong with a public show of affection towards another and good for them because this world needs more hugs!

To me the appeal of these five is they seem like genuinely nice 19/20 year olds. What many fans are seeing as gay ‘tells’ seem more like five guys spending a lot of time blowing off steam by being stupid, loveable dicks, like every other 19/20 year old on the planet.

After watching everyone’s ‘proof’, the only thing I know for sure is I am jealous; jealous that I’ve never had friendships as strong or as genuinely caring, even loving of each other, as these five guys seem to have. And yes, Harry and Louis seem closer than any of them, but you always have favourites. Their popularity will be, in a large part, because of this genuine shared love for each other – you can’t fake it. There’s no dominant egos, they enjoy and admire each other performing and look out for each other, on stage, in interviews, even with their appearance. That’s a very endearing quality.   


Larry Stylinson is still funny. It’s up there with Area 51 and the Paul is dead hoax. But they’ve said Larry doesn’t exist so that should be accepted – leave it as an ‘in joke’ and let them play to it, which is what I think is more likely to have been the source of all this.


Now if these boys would stop piss farting around so much and spend their time writing their own songs, then I suspect the nerves, the worries and self doubts of how their first penned songs will be received would give them an insight into how it really feels to come out. Good luck with that. 


Scott Norton Taylor on twitter: @norton_scott
Read the novels by Scott here.

Scott Norton Taylor - Inner City - Ebook for Kindle, Epub Sony, Palm or online!

Reviews: From Amazon

5.0 out of 5 stars Awesome read May 27, 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase
This book was so intriguing I hardly put it down. Wonderfully written it does not linger on any 
one event nor does it speed through scenes making it a poor read. The characters were well 
thought out and the inner turmoils they all face are far from dull.

5.0 out of 5 stars Spectacular April 5, 2013
By Jack
Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase
The book was simply amazing it had action romance and just enough drama to make me happy 
one of the best books I have ever read

From Barnes and Noble - Nook Books:

Posted December 1, 2012

 Great read.

A story filled with with love, hate, violence, peace and so much more. 538 pages of wondering what will happen 
next. A FULL story from start to finish. Thanks to the author for sharing a great work with the readers.

Posted July 8, 2012
 Couldn't put it down...
For this to have been a free book, it was wonderful. The author keeps you on the edge of your seat. I couldn't 
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Posted April 20, 2012

 Amazing

Perfectly written with great detail it was thought provoking and asked the fundemental question of would you 
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Posted April 5, 2012

 This book is AWESOME! it keeps you wanting to read the entire ti

This book is AWESOME! it keeps you wanting to read the entire time. It tells of 2 worlds, and both are 
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