I think we've all seen the 'Spider email' exchange and laughed hard - wishing secretly we'd had the gal to try something like that and annoy our bank, electricity company or mobile provider.
From: Jane Gilles
Date: Wednesday 8 Oct 2008 12.19pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Overdue account
Dear David,
Date: Wednesday 8 Oct 2008 12.37pm
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Overdue account
Dear Jane,
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 10.07am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Overdue account
Dear David,
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 10.32am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Overdue account
Dear Jane,
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 11.42am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Overdue account
Dear David,
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 11.56am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Overdue account
Dear Jane,
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 12.14pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Overdue account
Attached <spider.gif>
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 09.22am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Whose spider is that?
Dear Jane,
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.03am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Whose spider is that?
Dear David,
Please make this payment as soon as possible.
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.05am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Automated Out of Office Response
Thankyou for contacting me.
I am currently away on leave, traveling through time and will be returning last week.
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.08am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?
Hello, I am back and have read through your emails and accept that despite missing a leg, that drawing of a spider may indeed be the one I sent you. I realise with hindsight that it is possible you rejected the drawing of a spider due to this obvious limb ommission but did not point it out in an effort to avoid hurting my feelings. As such, I am sending you a revised drawing with the correct number of legs as full payment for any amount outstanding. I trust this will bring the matter to a conclusion.
Date: Monday 13 Oct 2008 2.51pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?
Dear David,
Date: Monday 13 Oct 2008 3.17pm
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?
I understand and will definitely make a payment this week if I remember. As you have not accepted my second drawing as payment, please return the drawing to me as soon as possible. It was silly of me to assume I could provide you with something of completely no value whatsoever, waste your time and then attach such a large amount to it.
Date: Tuesday 14 Oct 2008 11.18am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?
Attached <spider2.gif>
This snowballed into a very popular blog and books deals. And that's how I came back to his blog - when I discovered his books - a very good read if anyone's looking to waste time and laugh and prejudge a human being purely on circumstantial evidence.
The Internet is a Playground - By David Thorne
I'll Go Home When it's Warm and has Chairs - By David Thorne
I came to feel I knew David through these emails and savage swipes at society. I know I don't, it's just that emails are personal and in a way it feels like he's letting you in to see who he really is by sharing what are supposed to be candid insights into the way he conducts himself when no one else is watching.
He seems angry. An 'old man who lives next door and won't throw the ball back' type of angry.
But then you read of his ongoing gripes with every day annoyances - you begin to like him because he's fighting the fight you meekly gave into when you paid that council fine for having your bin incorrectly presented for pick up. I also found myself saying - "No, that's gone too far, or is Bullying." As I laughed out loud at some outrageous email - and even felt lifted by his victory over bureaucratic red tape.
This is part of an hysterical and long exchange with Massanutten City Council
in the USA.
Also, as per your instructions to report bear sightings immediately, I have attached a photograph taken outside my premises a few minutes ago. I apologise for the quality but was fearful of getting too close due to the fact bears constrict and consume their prey whole, taking several days to fully digest. As I have a short attention span and would prefer a quick death such as removing my helmet in space, I request you send assistance immediately.
David Thorne's humour is not new - it's Groucho Marx for a digital generation.
When you first google his web site - titles 27bslash6 - a reference to the apartment George Orwell lived in when he was writing 1984 - the brief description appropriately reads -
Go Away
As you read and sway between loving David's irreverent wit and his snarky side that clearly takes great pleasure in annoying the innocent, powerless or naive - See Missing Missy!!! - you will come across other items that are not on the front page or pushed loudly for all the haters to see. They just become more of, what I'm sure was a whirlwind on the back of 'the spider email' - of one man's outlet to vent that went incredibly public and has now, ironically, caught the author in his own web created persona. Hidden in there is an email from the father of a child with cancer. It's a simple email and thanks David for his book that made the man's daughter and him laugh when they most needed to laugh.
After reading so many exhanges from David Thorne and seeing the lengths he's willing to go to satisfy his own pleasure at simply being annoying and getting people back - I could imagine this is also David's own creation to shove it up those who have vented against his style of humour - but something deeper makes me feel it's real, I'd certainly like it to be real, so I'm going with that.
If you're a toilet reader and you're looking for something you can enjoy in solid three minute installments - maybe less if you're eating a healthy diet - then this is a must have.
A solid eight legs out of seven.
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