Friday, 27 January 2017

Trump The Diplomat – or A Series of Unfortunate Events

The gender card, the race card, the gay card – in fact, all the minority cards have been trumped in America. We have officially entered the age of the pussy-grabber. The Donald spent his first week in office laying pipe over environmental groups, Native Americans and any other group that caught his tweeting attention span.

While seated on his golden throne, Trump squeezed out bills that effectively ended The United States efforts to stem global warming, citing alternative facts – namely, that there is no global warming.

Like Rome’s Hadrian and China’s Great before him, Little Hands signed his intention to build a 35-foot wall along the entire US-Mexican border. Many rejoiced at the news, most notably manufacturers of 36-foot ladders. Detractors claim the wall does nothing to stop the 40% of illegal immigrants who enter the country legally and then overstay their visa, although, using another set of alternative facts – it does.

Like the mobile barricades blocking roads in New York to allow Fuckface Von Clownstick to continue living high above the rabble he now rules, many feel the Mexican wall will serve no purpose while causing problems for those forced to live with it.

Building a wall on the Mexican border has been tried before. That wall dissected towns, golf courses and families. Geography impedes any actual wall on the border, and alternative geography is not proving as malleable for this fledgeling administration as alternative facts.

This results in some areas of America lying outside the wall but inside the U.S border. “This shouldn’t be any problem as the area between any fence, and a border is likely to be a warm and inviting place,” – said one former East Berlin resident.

Donald Trump is that guy in the bar who knows everything and wants to tell you about it. He’s so confident in himself he believes he’s the world’s specialist. Unfortunately, his speciality is proctology, and he has no degree, so he’s just some guy surrounded by arseholes.

Trump believes business solutions will work on global problems. He believes hard business negotiations will serve as well as diplomacy and he believes the bottom line of a good deal, forgives all and any transgressions on the path to that deal.

His retaliatory taxes on companies that shift jobs offshore and then import goods back for sale may well have an immediate effect. His 20% tariffs on all Mexican goods coming to the US may force that country to negotiate some contribution towards building a pointless giant wall along their border. 

There is a chance some middle and lower income earners in America will end up better off in the short term thanks to Trump. The danger is in the long run everyone else loses.

The issues that are most important are the agreements that ensure individual rights, freedoms and a sustainable future. The global climate crisis is a life and death negotiation for the human race.

While nineteen out of twenty scientists declare global warming a fact, Trump and his supporters prefer to believe the other guy.

Maybe we should steer the argument towards debunking that twentieth guy. He’s the single scientist the cynical, paranoid, conspiracy-believing, emotion over fact, Alt Right supporter is betting on with the human races' future.
The Donald may be headed for some or even many short-term successes, but he's already trampling on rights, on facts and on established international diplomacy. 

He’ll argue an increase in wealth cancel out any negatives along the way, and his supporters will chant his name because, as the saying goes, he who has the gold has the power, and Trump shits on a golden throne, just because he can.

The elephant in the Oval Office is Giina – or China as the rest of the world knows it. They are dredging the sand of the South China Sea, to create new islands to populate, in formerly international waters. Expand and occupy is a very successful policy and has been for millennia. Of course, it often leads to conflict, and that’s when we need to call on diplomats with years of experience to step in and broker peaceful solutions.

And into these delicately flowing waters comes the hippopotamus of negotiators, Donald J Trump. Renowned investor Warren Buffett said The Donald was a great businessman in regards to licensing and branding, but not so much in the running of an ongoing business. Now Trump is running a country. The idea of Donald Trump going about something methodically, slowly and with unreserved patience is so foreign it’s overstayed its visa.

If the manager of a china shop walked into his store and found Donald Trump and a Bull, he’d be hard pressed to know who to blame for the damage.

For the first time in my life, I fear a real possibility of a global war. When you get arrogant, egotistical leaders whose ethical and moral compass only exists within the lines of a balance sheet – you can bet, not just on self-interest, but also on human casualties.

How does Donald Trump’s value system measure the value of life?
It doesn’t - because to him, it’s like comparing apples to solid gold oranges.     

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