Jews have cool hats.
I hadn’t noticed this until recently. I’m not talking about the common yarmulke, a garment most feel has no right to be called a cap, let alone a hat. But I won't dismiss the yarmulke altogether - I have a friend who is defined as a gay Jewish man because of it, as opposed to being a Jewish gay man.
The difference of course is that a Jewish Gay man will hold his yarmulke sacred, but a gay Jewish man will use it as a drinks coaster in times of crisis. And it’s not that he doesn’t respect his faith – he’d just rather go to hell than have water marks on his coffee table.
But I noticed a young Jewish man of about Bieber age, walking down the street wearing this really cool hat.
Bieber age is old enough to be seen as an adult by the law but not by anyone else, and this young man was so young he had no facial hair. He had none of the bed hair beard that usually distracts the eye away from the hat – he just had the hat.
It's a cool hat. The sort of hat cowboys wore after the truly wild west had calmed down to be only unruly. Clint wore a similar hat in a number of films. It’s the understated version of the cowboy hat. It's the hat of a man you don’t want to cross. A hat so cool it looks good on anyone. A hat that says, beware - this man is a complete and utter Clint.
I really feel the Jews have missed the boat with this one. Imagine if they'd been pushing the hat all these years? How much would history have changed? Just ask yourself which of these you're more likely to be swayed by?
A/ Join our religion and we’ll never let you eat bacon again and we'll cut off the tip of your penis.
B/ Join our religion and we’ll let you wear Clint Eastwood’s hat?
I know which I'd be choosing - “Go ahead – Say Oy Vey.”
I think the history of repression and oppression of the entire race may have been avoided if they’d simply redirected gentile's attentions towards their cool hats.
Apologies to those I’ve offended. I know there are many people who will think what I’ve written is sacrilegious and I unreservedly apologize for upsetting them. It goes without saying that I realize the “Go ahead” quote is from Dirty Harry and Harry never wore a hat.
So again let me apologize for mixing the films and using the apparel of this great and ancient film star, this alter kocker, just to get a laugh.
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